Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe

We talk a lot about vibe, a word that entered the general lexicon in a major way over the past few years. It makes sense, the world shut down for a bit, we were stuck at home, we couldn’t be around each other or go out for fear of breathing one another’s air and getting sick. And if we did, still now, if we do, it better have been worth it. The feel of a room, a restaurant, a table, a bar stool, an evening, a party, a live show, that feel is powerful. Open Streets¹ can only offer so much je ne sais quois. Vibe was what we were missing for so long. 

There’s a danger to vibe, the same danger that comes with cool, the same thing that makes it great makes it a problem. What is it? Who decides it? I know it when I see it, but someone is always going to try to manufacture it, to sell it. You know we’re going to try. Is it decided by people who swear by Rick Rubin’s book? Because sign me down, erase my name, take it off the list. That’s just not for me. I’ve been around long enough to know that often problem of ‘cool’ and ‘vibe’ is the amount of jerks, money and ego involved to create it.

Know this about me, I have a list of grudges that I live by. Not in a real intense way, my grudges aren’t as spiteful as they use to be, neither am I. It’s called maturity. It’s a casual list, maybe you have one of your own. Grudges are free, you know. Certain businesses I won’t go to, I don’t want to give them my money. Plenty of my money goes to evil entities, I like to control what I can. Do I take it too far? What the fuck are you talking about? Things I know about some people have influenced whether I want to patronize their business. I have my reasons, most of them aren’t petty. I won’t force them upon anyone. Sometimes I will just say “that is not for me” and that means the place is on my list. I won’t enjoy myself if I go somewhere I don’t want to support.

I wonder if any of the most impactful, prestigious entities that rank and review restaurants (like the 50 Best Restaurants, James Beard, New York Times) have ever tried to incorporate other aspects of running the business other than the food on the plate, service, wine list and, well, vibe. I’m really thinking about what it’s like to work at the restaurant, and for the super fancy fine-dining places, how much free labor they depend upon. Consider this: the more positive reviews, rankings and attention a chef and restaurant receive, the more validation they get, the more reasons workers have to stay on, regardless of how they are treated. The influence and prestige these awards have in the industry are immense. Maybe that seems like an even trade, the status for the labor, but how often have you read an article about an abusive work environment in a heralded restaurant and wondered why the staff stayed?

What if we could combine consumptive cultural moments with tangible workers rights? What if we didn’t live in the binary of fun or responsible? What if, when a chef returns after leaving the public eye from a difficult, harmful work environment, we asked them what they’ve learned and what they’ve changed?² How else are we supposed to learn? How do we evolve without learning? Is it by asking questions? Great, because I can’t stop. How do we reconcile that we want restaurants to be beautiful utopias of workers, it’s just so fun!, but we also love explosive tortured personalities in pursuit of greatness? What if it is not possible to accomplish all of this, whatever it is, and still have a place that people can afford to go to and want to go to?

Why do restaurants have to be good employers? I haven’t answered that, I don’t know if I can. We want them to be good so all the attention we give them is warranted, and so we can continue to love them and still feel like we live by our values. We’re not willing for them to change enough to be different.³ Restaurants are one of the last things that haven’t been automated away, something we absolutely get to do in person. Going out, being social, celebrating, commiserating, eating, drinking, feeling. Maybe we intuitively know it’s not possible to fix them. What if fixing them (whatever that means) puts them financially out of our reach? I imagine it would. I didn’t mean to make this a restaurant rant, I just wonder about these things. Maybe it’s in anticipation of season 3 of The Bear, a really good show people can’t help but watch and then fetishize the worst parts of the industry.

Sorry if I killed your vibe.

But, c’mon, you knew it was coming.

1. Open Streets started during COVID in NYC and continues today. Certain streets are closed to motor vehicles, open and safe for cyclists and pedestrians.

2. Maybe a little out of left field, but this is the question paragraph.

3. We loathe gratuity free. We just don’t trust it in this country.